My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
