please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He kissed a someone with a penis
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
