let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
