SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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