What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Actions speak louder than pants.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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