he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i out mim tonsoeep
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