i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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