I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
