IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
