Where did you get a picture of my penis
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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