Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Less talking, more tequila
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
