I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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