Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
