He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
