SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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