I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
