I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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