at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
