My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
