I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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