I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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