Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
