Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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