Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
