he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
