I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
