maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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