the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize