Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
