i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
