I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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