You're my little dorito
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
