The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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