I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
