she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize