real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
