ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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