I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
