I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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