just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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