Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
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