She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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