My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
