i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
