I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize