yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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