Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
