and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
