it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
