come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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