Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
