oh god the rape fog is back!
...so i touched it.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
