She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize