Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
