This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
