Im at strip club and am horny
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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