He is an equal opportunity slut.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
