Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
