so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
