he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
