I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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