I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
