Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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