My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
