I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
